Why Public Speaking Is So Terrifying—and What You Can Do About It

Ah, this is one of those questions—like cracking open Pandora’s box of human behaviour! Public speaking triggers a fundamental cocktail of fears, rooted deep in our psychology, biology, and social conditioning. But why?

If just the thought of standing in front of a room full of people makes your heart race and your palms sweat, you’re not alone. Fear of public speaking—glossophobia—is one of the most common fears in the world. But here’s the truth: it’s not just about being nervous. The reasons we fear public speaking run far deeper than you might think.

Let’s unpack why public speaking feels so terrifying, the surprising benefits of overcoming those fears, and the practical steps you can take to feel confident, prepared, and ready to shine.

The Real Reasons Public Speaking Feels So Terrifying

1. The Fear of Social Judgement (Rejection)

Humans are wired for belonging—it’s survival 101. For our ancestors, being rejected or isolated from the tribe meant death. When we speak in public, we feel exposed to judgement. Every glance, raised eyebrow, or yawn feels like potential disapproval. The amygdala, the brain’s threat detection system, interprets the audience’s gaze as danger. This triggers the fight/flight/freeze response, flooding your body with adrenaline.

At its root, it’s the fear of being found lacking or unworthy. Thoughts like: 'What if I mess up? What if they think I’m stupid?' dominate.

2. Perfectionism and Ego Threat

We live in a culture where success and competence are often equated with worthiness. Speaking in public puts your competence—or perceived competence—on the line. Your ego is under threat. It fears being 'unmasked' as imperfect, flawed, or not enough. This is especially true for people with imposter syndrome, where they feel like frauds waiting to be exposed.

Public speaking feels like standing on a stage, naked, while the world judges every inch of you.

3. Fear of Vulnerability

Speaking requires you to open yourself up, even if just a little. You are sharing ideas, stories, or thoughts—yourself. Vulnerability is a double-edged sword: On one side, it’s the key to connection and impact. On the other, it risks rejection, ridicule, or indifference.

As Brené Brown says, vulnerability feels like 'emotional exposure and uncertainty.' Many of us avoid it at all costs.

4. The Unknown and Loss of Control

Speaking in public often means facing unpredictable variables:

• Will the technology fail?
• Will someone ask a tough question?
• Will my voice tremble, or my mind go blank?
  

Humans hate uncertainty. The brain craves control and predictability. The unknown throws it into panic mode.

5. A Trauma Response (Learned Experience)

For some, fear of public speaking stems from past experiences:

• Childhood humiliation (like being laughed at for reading aloud).
• Cultural or family messages like: 'Don’t stand out. Don’t embarrass yourself.'
• Experiencing shame, criticism, or dismissal when sharing thoughts.

This creates a conditioned trauma response: speaking triggers old emotional wounds, causing the body to shut down or overreact.

6. The Spotlight Effect

Psychology tells us humans overestimate how much others notice and care about what we do. This is called the Spotlight Effect—the feeling that a giant spotlight is shining on you. In reality, your audience is not dissecting every word or flaw; they’re mostly concerned with themselves.

But the brain? It says: 'Everyone sees you. You’re under scrutiny. Don’t screw up.'

7. Evolutionary Bias Towards Threats

Our brains are excellent at spotting danger over anything else. In the wild, this helped us avoid predators. Today, the 'predator' is a negative audience reaction. Positive responses barely register because your brain prioritises the one frowning face in the crowd.

Public speaking hijacks this threat bias. It’s survival gone wrong.

8. Identity and Self-Worth

If your sense of self-worth is tied to performance, public speaking can feel like a life-or-death test of your value. It’s no longer about the talk—it’s about proving who you are to yourself and others.

This fear is even stronger for people who define themselves as 'quiet,' 'shy,' or 'not confident.' Speaking challenges that identity, creating inner conflict.

9. Physiological Fear Feeds Itself

The body reacts to fear (sweaty palms, dry throat, shaky voice), and then…

• You notice the fear symptoms, and your brain thinks: 'See? I’m panicking. This is dangerous.'
• It becomes a feedback loop where the physical sensations amplify the emotional fear.

It’s not just in your head—it’s in your nervous system.

10. It’s a Modern Fear, Too

Public speaking isn’t natural in the way conversation is. Standing in front of 50+ people, alone, is a modern phenomenon. Our brains never evolved for this.

Evolutionarily, humans operated in small, intimate groups. Today, speaking to a crowd feels unnatural because it is, in a primal sense.

Now that we’ve uncovered why public speaking feels so terrifying, let’s tackle some of the most pervasive myths about it. These myths not only hold us back but can also make the fear even worse. Here’s the truth about what you really need to know.

The 5 Lies of Public Speaking

1. Imagining Your Audience Naked Will Calm Your Nerves

Let’s be real: this advice is cringeworthy. Would you ever recommend this to a school teacher, aged care worker, or kindergarten teacher? Of course not.

The Truth: You don’t connect with an audience by imagining them naked—you connect by leading with authenticity. If anyone’s getting 'naked,' metaphorically speaking, it’s you. Remove your defensive armour, drop your self-protective barriers, and show up as your open, present, and vulnerable self. When you do, your audience will embrace the authentic you.

2. Picking One Person to Connect With Will Help You Relax

This is another myth that backfires. Have you ever been the person a speaker fixates on? It’s awkward and uncomfortable—you feel like their emotional support system, and the rest of the audience gets left behind.

The Truth: True connection happens when you engage with the entire room. Scan the audience, share your attention, and speak to the group as a collective. This creates an inclusive experience that resonates with everyone.

3. Don’t Talk With Your Hands; It’s Distracting

This outdated advice is a classic example of bad communication theory. Neuroscience and body language research tell us otherwise.

The Truth: Purposeful hand gestures enhance your message. They:

• Help your audience feel your message.
• Guide their attention and emphasise key points.
• Demonstrate ideas in relation to time and space.

Your hands are one of your greatest storytelling tools—use them wisely.

4. Expert Speakers Have No Anxiety

Think the pros are anxiety-free? Think again. Even seasoned speakers feel nervous—it’s just part of the game. What sets them apart is how they respond to it.

The Truth: Every speaker has pre-talk routines to manage nerves. Whether it’s going quiet and isolating, or practising affirmations, routines help redirect anxiety into energy.

Reframe Fear as Excitement: Imagine standing at the top of a mountain. Is it fear, or is it the thrill of the view? The way you frame your feelings makes all the difference.

5. Speaking Fast Means You’re Nervous

Tell that to Tony Robbins! At 210 words per minute, he’s proof that speaking quickly isn’t a sign of nerves—it’s a strategy.

The Truth: The unconscious mind can absorb information quickly. Speakers like Robbins pair rapid speech with intentional pauses and slower, powerful statements to anchor key points. Speaking fast isn’t the issue—failing to control your pace and create moments of impact is.

Once you’ve let go of these common myths, you can start building a new approach to public speaking—one rooted in confidence, preparation, and purpose. That’s where these transformational tips come in. Let’s dive in.

12 Transformational NLP Speaker Coaching Tips

1. Dress Rehearsals Matter: Practice in the full outfit you’ll wear for the talk, including shoes. If it’s a new outfit, give yourself time to get comfortable in it—confidence starts with familiarity.
2. Watch Your Feet: Video yourself during practice and focus on your footwork. Intentional movements anchor your talk, while random ones can distract you and your audience.
3. Master the Clicker: Hold the slide remote during practice to lock the use of slides into muscle memory. This helps your content flow seamlessly with your visuals.
4. Visualise Success: Find a quiet space, lie down, and close your eyes. Picture yourself delivering your talk with all the gestures, pauses, and flow you’ve practised. Visualisation reinforces confidence.
5. Laugh at Mistakes: Mistakes are part of the process. Laughing at them during practice reduces anxiety and rewires your brain to associate speaking with positive emotions.
6. Be Larger Than Life: Practice being bigger, louder, and more animated than usual. Your brain remembers unusual things better, and this will help you lock in your content.
7. Create a Visual Memory Aid: Print your PowerPoint slides with notes, arrange them above eye level in a linear fashion, and make the font large enough to read from a distance. This visual cue locks your talk into memory.
8. Time Your Talk: Always time your presentation during practice. Be mindful that you may speak slightly faster during the actual delivery—allow for this.
9. Comfort Your Hands: If you’re unsure what to do with your hands, practice holding a coin or a smooth beach stone. These items not only occupy your hands but also reduce sweat and provide a calming effect.
10. Memorise Your Bookends: Commit the first and last minute of your talk to memory. Starting and ending strong keeps you on track and prevents you from meandering.
11. Use Professional Notes: If you need notes, print them on thick paper (220 GSM) or use a clear folder. This reduces the visibility of shaking and prevents the paper from becoming soggy if your hands perspire.
12. Reference Notes, Don’t Read Them: Be familiar enough with your talk that your notes are a guide, not a script. Use a large font to make them easy to reference at a glance.

These tips will help you create new, empowering habits that transform the way you approach public speaking. But the benefits don’t stop there. Overcoming your fear of public speaking can unlock unexpected advantages that extend far beyond the stage.

The Hidden Benefits of Overcoming Public Speaking Fear

1. Overcoming Procrastination

One of the most common pitfalls is waiting until the last minute to prepare. But overcoming procrastination does more than just ensure you’re ready for your talk:

• Stress Reduction: Tackling tasks ahead of time reduces stress and gives you peace of mind.
• Increased Productivity: You’ll find yourself focusing your energy and attention more effectively, not just in public speaking but across all aspects of work and life.

2. Writing Scripts to Sharpen Your Thinking

Many speakers skip scriptwriting, but the act of writing isn’t just about preparation—it’s about transformation:

• Expand Your Vocabulary: Writing helps you explore new ways to express your ideas.
• Refine Your Message: Digging deeper into your subject allows you to clarify your thinking and turn ordinary information into something extraordinary.
• Broader Audience Reach: Scripts enable you to craft messages that resonate with more people, increasing your impact and potential customer base.

3. Timing Your Talks for Maximum Impact

The art of timing isn’t just for speeches—it’s a critical skill for life:

• Efficiency in Meetings: When time is short, knowing how to structure your thoughts ensures you can deliver maximum impact in minimal time.
• Professional Precision: Being mindful of timing shows respect for others’ time, enhancing your credibility.

4. Creating Powerful Slide Decks (and Why It Matters)

Poor slide decks are more than an eyesore—they dilute your message. Improving your presentation visuals has far-reaching benefits:

• Flex Your Creative Muscle: Tools like Canva help you tap into creativity, which boosts team innovation and marketing prowess.
• Message Clarity: When done right, your slides become an extension of your story, amplifying rather than detracting from your message.

5. Practising Delivery for Peak Performance

Rehearsing your delivery doesn’t just prepare you for a single talk—it primes you for excellence in any situation:
• Consultations and Meetings: Practice helps you walk into any room with confidence, ready to engage and persuade.
• Mental Preparation: Delivery practice gets you in the right mindset to perform at your very best.

6. Getting Comfortable in Front of the Camera

For many, the camera is a dreaded tool. But embracing it can transform how you see yourself and how others see you:
• Challenge Limiting Beliefs: Seeing and hearing yourself on camera can shift your perspective, forcing you to confront insecurities.
• Lifestyle Changes: Many speakers who see themselves on camera are inspired to make significant personal or professional changes.
• Boost Self-Acceptance: The camera doesn’t lie—but it also teaches you to accept and embrace your authentic self.

Your Next Steps

Fear of public speaking isn’t just about the stage—it’s about stepping into your power. It’s a journey from fear to courage, from hiding to shining. You don’t need to be fearless to speak—you just need to be brave enough to try.

Ready to take the next step? Here’s how you can start your journey to confident, impactful speaking:
1. Download the Confidence Toolbox: A free resource packed with strategies to help you conquer fear and master the art of public speaking.
2. Explore Coaching: Work with a coach to refine your skills, connect with your audience authentically, and step fully into your speaking potential.

Your voice matters. Let’s make sure the world hears it.